July 5

Parenting from safety and strength


A Loving Approach

When parents stand in their strength, they experience a powerful shift in the dynamics of parenting. This empowerment is key to raising children from a place of strength and safety, which is essential for their well-being and development.

Parenting from your own strength

Here are some insights and tips about parenting from your strengths

Collaboration and Consultation

Instead of acting authoritarianly, consult with your child. Together you look for solutions and make agreements. This creates a loving relationship in which you guide your child in growing and becoming an adult.

Setting Boundaries with Time and Attention

Parenting from strength means that you have control over unwanted behavior. You invest time and attention in understanding the situation so that it does not repeat itself. This promotes a positive bond with your child and a sense of security in your role as a parent.

Self-management and Self-reliance

Parenting from strength is about instilling a sense of self-management, self-reliance, and personal responsibility in your child. As a parent, you can take pride in your child's ability to solve problems and take responsibility for their choices, fostering a sense of satisfaction and pride in your parenting journey.

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Stimulate your own strength

Utilizing the own strengths of parents and children is an important starting point. Families can tackle questions and parenting problems themselves, together with their social network.

Setting Boundaries and Safety

As a parent, you provide security and structure with boundaries. These boundaries are not just rules, but a safety net, ensuring your child's well-being. It's important to set rules and communicate clear expectations, giving you a sense of control and security in your role as a parent.

Parenting from feelings means identifying your own emotions and listening to your child's needs. This is how feelings are recognized and understood. It's about acknowledging and validating your child's emotions, which can help them develop emotional intelligence and a strong sense of self.

Connection and Self-confidence

Nurture the connection between you and your child. This strengthens your child's secure base, self-connection and self-esteem.
Give your child responsibility and space to develop his own 'self'. Balance between autonomy and boundaries is crucial.

Awareness Development Professionals

Professionals in basic pedagogical facilities must support rather than take over. They can provide guidance, resources, and strategies to help parents develop their strengths in parenting.

Where you, as a professional, can support you up to the level that you have created for yourself. Municipalities can contribute to raising awareness of their strength and self-reliance among families.

In short, raising children from their strength and safety means empowering them to make decisions, manage their emotions, and take responsibility for their actions. This approach creates a positive basis for the development of children, fostering self-management, self-reliance, and personal responsibility.

"A parent who raises from inner peace, strength, and security does not react aggressively."  -   CB

Dealing with hitting behavior in children

Practical Tips for Parents dealing with hitting behavior for children

It is not uncommon for young children, especially toddlers and preschoolers, to sometimes exhibit aggressive behavior, such as hitting or kicking.

As a parent, this behavior can be challenging. It is, therefore, essential to respond responsibly and consistently. Here are some do's and don'ts to help you:

What not to do when your children hit

  • If you react aggressively, you have gone beyond your limits. A parent who raises children with inner peace, strength, and security does not respond aggressively.
  • Reacting aggressively yourself: Yelling or hitting back will only make the problem worse. Stay calm and collected.
  • Instilling guilt: Avoid shaming the child. Explain that the behavior is not acceptable, but without creating feelings of guilt.

What you can do if your children hit

  • Create safety: Sit at eye level with your child and hold them calmly to prevent them from hitting you. Tell them you understand it is angry or sad, but hurting is not allowed.
  • Defuse the situation: Wait until the child has calmed down and then talk about it. Listen to their story and explain why aggression is not acceptable.
  • Show empathy: Start sentences with "I understand you are angry…" to empathize with their feelings.
  • Remember that hitting children has been prohibited by law in the Netherlands since 2007As a parent, you can positively influence your child's behavior with love, understanding, and clear boundaries.
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“If you function from your inner strength as a parent, a healthy child has no reason to hit you.”  -   CB

Parents who allow themselves to beat

I never hit my children, and my children never hit me.

When I worked with small children for several years, I saw, for example, how parents, from my perspective, lacked their strength and allowed themselves to be hit or bitten by their children.

An example of this is how children under the age of two sometimes hit their parents in the face repeatedly, and that parents allowed this to happen entirely without setting a limit.

Is this a contribution for your child? Is this a contribution to yourself as a parent? And is this necessary if you are in your power as a parent?

Safety in yourself as a parent

What if, as a parent, you first ensure your safety is in order? Imagine how you can approach your children if you operate entirely from your strength and peace.

  • This makes you feel safe for yourself, your children and those around you.
  • Set your boundaries as a parent for yourself.
  • Setting boundaries with toddlers, small children and big children.
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Tips and Insights for Raising Toddlers

Toddlers are busy discovering the world. They often push the boundaries, not to annoy you but because it is how they learn. As a parent, you want your child to discover the world safely. That is why setting clear boundaries and rules and guiding your child is essential.

Why does a toddler need rules and boundaries?

  • Safety and Predictability: Boundaries make your child's life predictable. With clear rules, your toddler knows precisely what is and is not allowed and why. The boundaries give your child self-confidence and peace of mind for both of you.
  • Learning by Trying: Toddlers mainly learn by trying. They discover the world by testing things, such as putting sand in their mouths to see what it tastes like. It is essential to understand that they are not doing this to challenge their parents but to learn.

Corrective stroke

Sometimes, a child hits or bites you, and you react reflexively with a pat or a bite, even if you don't like your reaction at that moment. You are human too!

Look at how a dog interacts with its puppies… and you will understand what happens.

A corrective stroke is an interesting concept. Although it may seem less damaging than a physical tap, there may still be some considerations:

  • Intention and Context: Understanding why you are giving a corrective stroke is essential. Is it out of reflex, love and care, or frustration? Context plays a big role. If it is out of reflex, then it is interesting to investigate what made you react this way.
  • Effect on the Child: Even a stroke can influence a child. Some children are more sensitive than others. It can cross a line if the child feels uncomfortable or unsafe.
  • Alternatives: There are alternatives to physical corrections. Consider talking, explaining, and positive reinforcement. These approaches promote a healthy relationship between parent and child.

In short, it is essential to be aware of the impact of any form of correction on children.

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The Added Value of Own Strength for Parents

Strengthening the strength of parents and youth is an important goal in the context of youth policy and family support. This is about increasing self-reliance, personal responsibility, and self-management.

But what exactly is the added value of using your strength? Let's delve deeper into this topic.

  • Sustainable Solutions: When parents and youth use their strengths, this leads to sustainable solutions. The help better suits their living environment, knowledge, insights, and possibilities, resulting in more effective support and protection against (new) problems.
  • Professional Role: Professionals play a crucial role in strengthening their strengths. Although there is still much to discover and knowledge is fragmented, they must utilize their strengths and possibilities and recognize limitations.
  • Shared Deciding: Own strength is not just about self-reliance. It's about giving your children responsibility, no matter how small they are.

Children and possibilities

  • Your children are intelligent beings.
  • Dare to let them decide.
  • Listen to their needs.
  • Feel what is going on with your fear and work on that fear!.
  • Listen, feel, and look at their reactions.
  • Ask them questions about what they want.
  • Reach possibilities to intelligent children.

Using your own strength is essential, even if specialist help is needed.

In short, self-empowerment offers parents, professionals, and youth a solid foundation for taking on challenges and promoting their well-being. Let's continue to invest in this valuable approach!

Plus, parenting from your strength creates a loving and supportive environment in which your child can develop optimally.

The report on strengthening the self-empowerment of youth and parents provides more information about this subject. You can also explore your strength and safety by following YesPower's training classes for personal growth and empowerment.

Click here for more information.


  • https://www.nji.nl/pedagogische-basis/versterken-van-jeugd-en-ouders
  • https://www.kinderrechten.nl/kinderrechten-vw/artikel-19-bescherming-tegen-geweld/
  • https://www.nji.nl/ontwikkeling/zelfstandigheid-en-grenzen-stellen-bij-peuters
  • https://www.nji.nl/ontwikkeling/zelfstandigheid-en-grenzen-stellen-bij-peuters
  • https://www.nji.nl/sites/default/files/2021-05/Eigen-kracht-versterken-jeugd-en-ouders.pdf


awareness, conscious education, educational staff, inner strength, parents, personal leadership, raising children, toddlers